k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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