There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
