I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
