i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
