I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
