he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in