Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.

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  (850): It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store. http://tfl.nu/3zcn
  Replies (17) Good night (864) Bad night (2267)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.

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  (623): Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again. http://tfl.nu/wv7w
  Replies (23) Good night (835) Bad night (3875)
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  (530): View more from California

  i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry

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  (530): i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry http://tfl.nu/jhtm
  Replies (12) Good night (1374) Bad night (5795)
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  (562): View more from California

  In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...

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  (562): In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for... http://tfl.nu/hz7t
  Replies (23) Good night (6843) Bad night (1566)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up

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  (404): It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up http://tfl.nu/zf6y
  Replies (27) Good night (1115) Bad night (4798)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.

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  (210): hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober. http://tfl.nu/bh32
  Replies (11) Good night (3408) Bad night (1081)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder

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  (203): They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder http://tfl.nu/slwo
  Replies (4) Good night (1869) Bad night (915)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music

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  (+44): could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music http://tfl.nu/hszo
  Replies (7) Good night (2497) Bad night (959)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect

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  (224): Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect http://tfl.nu/i76x
  Replies (3) Good night (1641) Bad night (927)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.

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  (586): I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food. http://tfl.nu/52ze
  Replies (27) Good night (1528) Bad night (1619)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.

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  (517): passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night. http://tfl.nu/smsc
  Replies (5) Good night (468) Bad night (784)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.

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  (541): No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure. http://tfl.nu/g7wu
  Replies (5) Good night (2281) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.

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  (512): He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever. http://tfl.nu/bmne
  Replies (1) Good night (876) Bad night (382)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it

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  (250): the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it http://tfl.nu/lvi5
  Replies (1) Good night (635) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.

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  (817): I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward. http://tfl.nu/yxm6
  Replies (0) Good night (330) Bad night (202)

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