there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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