Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.