all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
