Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize