I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
