Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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