sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
