Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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