i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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