I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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