he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
