I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
