Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
