It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
