Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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