Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What did we do last night that was yellow?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
soo... how was my night?
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