Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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