to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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