He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
