hotel room ftw
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
