Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
