I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
