I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
