Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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