I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize