Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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