i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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