Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
