so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
