You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize