Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
