I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
