I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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