I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize