I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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