is your mom at the bar?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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