Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I need a beard to bite.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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