Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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