well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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