My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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