Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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