STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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