Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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