She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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