Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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