Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
