So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just gargled with NyQuil
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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