Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
