There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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