i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
