Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
