Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
