If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize